Why Date?

Dating is complicated, so why do it?

Arranged marriages represent one way of joining two people. There are many benefits to choosing this way of life: religious synchronization, wealth, and status are some of the motivating factors of cultures and people that partake in arranged marriages. However, in Western society, dating and choice seem to be the dominant form of courtship. There are pros and cons to both methodologies, but I will focus on dating in the Western world for the sake of this article.

As currently constructed, dating in modern society seems to be a bit confusing. The main negative factors that come to the forefront of my mind are technology, deterioration of tradition, and poor cultural influence. Technology has brought us many significant improvements to human life, hence the extended period of life expectancy. However, we fail to comprehend or project the things we create. The relationship between dating and technology accentuates this problem. Let’s take dating apps, for example. The ease of access represented on apps has created what seems to be an abundance of choice. You are not limited by location or time. With this freedom, there has come an overwhelming choice of partners. How can you ever commit to one person when another option seems to always exist? From what I can surmise, dating apps, and social media (dating technology) have created deep confusion in one’s ability to attract a mate. The art of attraction is severely hindered when in-person communication is minimized or non-existent. How can you possibly compare virtual attraction to physical attraction? The answer is… you can’t! That is why the probability of meeting a lifelong partner through a screen is low.

Dating apps have also taken away the traditional aspect of dating. Prior to this sensory overload, we could rely on people within our community or friends’ group to give us a reference on a person. Having a mutual friend or acquaintance vouch for someone is huge. In addition to the aforementioned peer reassurance, we also had a template for how to progress in the dating world. There were a series of steps:

  1. Ask for a number
  2. Arrange the date
  3. Show class and get to know someone through conversation

Now, we see obtaining their number, or sliding into DMs, or hooking up on a one-night stand, or playing mind games for an inordinate amount of time as ways to start communication. From this, we can say that a lack of dating consensus, coupled with ignoring tradition, has led to a wider array of communication in the courting stages. Thus, the dating process is more complicated than ever.

Lastly, cultural influence through modern media has distorted our general priorities. There have always been pimps, players, and dishonest people. However, societal pressure and expectations used to subdue these behaviors. Now, they are celebrated and encouraged. How else would the Kardashians’ be famous?

Is modern dating completely doomed in the Western world? I would say no, but we are approaching a crossroads. I would also say that there is a need to understand dating on the deepest level possible before you jump into the dating pool. To put it frankly, we aren’t as prepared or knowledgeable about dating as we once were.

--

--

Hey, I’m Cam McCutchen. The genre I write about include philosophy, culture, and ideas that spur critical thinking. I write with a direct and sarcastic tone. :0

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Philosophy Nerd

Hey, I’m Cam McCutchen. The genre I write about include philosophy, culture, and ideas that spur critical thinking. I write with a direct and sarcastic tone. :0